Sunday, December 20, 2009

December strikes again

I bet you thought I'd forgotten about this thing! I didn't. I just...haven't thought I had much new or of interest to say. After all, this blog is about a journey and all the bumps in the road. The time spent here at STNJ has actually been a pretty smooth journey. All the things that scared me and angered me and blew my mind at the beginning have smoothed over by now. Slowly I have come to be more confident in my job, more open with my coworkers. I actually talk to the actors now. It's a little funny and a little frustrating. Sure, different casts have moved in and out every 7 weeks, but it has taken 7 1/2 months for me to open up around them. So I missed out on all the other cool people this year and getting to know them the way I have this cast.

In much the same way, I feel I really hit my stride here in the last month, and I find myself a little sad to see this experience coming to and end. But not really. I remind myself to simply be grateful that I am departing this place on an upswing. Better leave with happy thoughts and continue my journey elsewhere than to stay here and become stagnant and angry.


And the snow! Oh, the wonderful snow outside! How it harrasses me with its beauty and its coldness. The grey skies and breath-catching temperatures push me inside even as I wish to climb mountains in the sunshine.

I seem to have found some peace here.