A 9 year old third grader speaking out for equal marriage rights of
his own volition. How amazing is that?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Incomplete
I feel somehow incomplete today. I've checked all the ordinary things,
I am wearing all required items of clothing, I have my wallet, cell
phone, and iPod with me. In the most basic sense, that's all I need.
I'm not sure what it is.
I feel it might have something to do with my weekend's activities. The
simple act of reconnecting with friends, remembering what it feels
like to be around people I have the purest affection for, and then
some... To be in that environment, the part of college I miss the
most, and then leave it again. I have gently covered that little hole
in myself with self-assurance. I don't need anyone. But then I find
myself melting back into the place where I both knew I needed that
community and had it, it's painful each time to depart again.
I don't know if I am making sense.
I have been dealing with this more often and more specifically lately.
Being at Drew without actually being at Drew, it's hard. I remember
the emotions of being there, and really being a part of something.
It's what I have been seeking since the moment I graduated. But can it
really be repeated? We all grew into ourselves together. Even seeing
the people I lived with or partied with, it's not quite the same.
I don't want to spend my life living on memories. I have always prided
myself on being firmly in the present. But I don't feel like I am.
Maybe STNJ wasn't the right destination after all. There is more
baggage in this place and this position than I was prepared to deal
with. But I am here, I am forging new paths through the ruin of the
old ones. Developing new friendships with old friends. This place
still has the chance to be right.
But how long will I have to walk around incomplete before I get there?
I am wearing all required items of clothing, I have my wallet, cell
phone, and iPod with me. In the most basic sense, that's all I need.
I'm not sure what it is.
I feel it might have something to do with my weekend's activities. The
simple act of reconnecting with friends, remembering what it feels
like to be around people I have the purest affection for, and then
some... To be in that environment, the part of college I miss the
most, and then leave it again. I have gently covered that little hole
in myself with self-assurance. I don't need anyone. But then I find
myself melting back into the place where I both knew I needed that
community and had it, it's painful each time to depart again.
I don't know if I am making sense.
I have been dealing with this more often and more specifically lately.
Being at Drew without actually being at Drew, it's hard. I remember
the emotions of being there, and really being a part of something.
It's what I have been seeking since the moment I graduated. But can it
really be repeated? We all grew into ourselves together. Even seeing
the people I lived with or partied with, it's not quite the same.
I don't want to spend my life living on memories. I have always prided
myself on being firmly in the present. But I don't feel like I am.
Maybe STNJ wasn't the right destination after all. There is more
baggage in this place and this position than I was prepared to deal
with. But I am here, I am forging new paths through the ruin of the
old ones. Developing new friendships with old friends. This place
still has the chance to be right.
But how long will I have to walk around incomplete before I get there?
Friday, May 8, 2009
Oy Tech!
The tech process for this last show was particularly grueling, and I am still catching up from it. We opened a week ago.
I finally put away my clean clothes, now that most of them are dirty again. And i put new blinds in the bathroom- the old ones were disgusting. I still haven't taken the shelves out of my back seat because I still haven't made room for them. My tv doesn't talk to my DVD player for a reason I can't figure out. And I have picked out just the right futon that I want, and have decided I want to buy these curtains I saw in the city last week. I'm just not prepared to spend that kind of money right now.
But in general, this place suits me. There is a layer of dirt covering much of the place, which I am attacking bit by bit. I wish the landlord would take care of a lot of things. But the list is so long I suspect that he will not. But the area is wonderful. Literally everything is close by. The parking is a headache, but even when I park far away I find I do not mind because I like looking at the trees and architecture.
Even so, I feel very temporary. I have been here a month but it feels still like I just got here. I guess it is better than already being sick of a place, huh?
There are some things, like moaning about work and family stuff, that I am not prepared to talk on in a public forum. But if you're curious, email me. We can catch up:)
I finally put away my clean clothes, now that most of them are dirty again. And i put new blinds in the bathroom- the old ones were disgusting. I still haven't taken the shelves out of my back seat because I still haven't made room for them. My tv doesn't talk to my DVD player for a reason I can't figure out. And I have picked out just the right futon that I want, and have decided I want to buy these curtains I saw in the city last week. I'm just not prepared to spend that kind of money right now.
But in general, this place suits me. There is a layer of dirt covering much of the place, which I am attacking bit by bit. I wish the landlord would take care of a lot of things. But the list is so long I suspect that he will not. But the area is wonderful. Literally everything is close by. The parking is a headache, but even when I park far away I find I do not mind because I like looking at the trees and architecture.
Even so, I feel very temporary. I have been here a month but it feels still like I just got here. I guess it is better than already being sick of a place, huh?
There are some things, like moaning about work and family stuff, that I am not prepared to talk on in a public forum. But if you're curious, email me. We can catch up:)
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