I've had an epiphany. and then i didn't know what to do with this new self knowledge. And so i held it, and it festered... for a week. which inside my head feels like a long time. And finally yesterday, i sat and talked to one of the run crew guys about this new sudden awareness i had.. and then this morning, i woke up with a weight lifted off my chest. i felt that i was able to finally spring out of bed again, after the last month of each day being harder and harder. I guess, on the surface, nothing has changed. but in my head, there is clarity. this makes all the difference.