I just read an article in bitch magazine. It was interesting and incredibly well written. The blurb at the end led me to the auther's blog, which is also interesting well written. I felt engaged and curious about topics unrelated to me that usually I would just ignore.
But the writer herself is a person I am most afraid of, so I won't be reading that blog anymore.
I don't think I have ever encountered something that so completely filled me with "I don't want to be that person" fear. Single, intelligent, even funny. Also, 40 years old, single, and having never held a meaningful job.
This is a position I had never considered for myself until recently. I have a housemate who is in his mid 40s and his aloneness overwhelms me, and on some level, (though I hate to admit it) disgusts me. But I think my disgust is like that of the homophobe who is really a closeted homosexual. Is that me? I know I am only 25 and that in any person's life, anything can happen and life can change so quickly... But I am alone. This fact is brought home to me regularly as I encounter so many of my friends paired off. And in my priority of finding a job that I can be passionate about and proud of, well I'm not doing so hot in that category either.
A lot of this fear comes from my recent life experience, which has solidified in my mind that I am an Adult. And as TV tells us, once you are an adult, life is really just one long drone. Days, months, and years run together. Once a person achieves the status of grown up, the time from 25 to 40 can happen in the blink of an eye. Right?
Goodness, I hope not. It is my greatest fear.
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1 comment:
Fortunately, there are 15 years between 25 and 40. 15 years ago we were 10 years old (okay so I was 11). Sure, time has flown by, but so much has changed in that amount of time...I think the amount of change that happens in the next 15 years will also be large--just do what makes you happy now and don't worry about what happens at 40. :)
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