the anti list

surprise! i keep dragging this blog back up from the forgotten depths of the interwebs. just when you and i both thought it was done.

See, i'm finding myself doing a lot of internet reading these days, and not a lot of actually doing anything. also, i read things an awful lot that are similar to sentiments i would have, but articulated better. or i find my own 'voice' annoying. or i think, why on earth would anyone want to read that?
but the internal dialog is persistent, and sometimes i need to let it ooze out my fingers so it can stop rattling around in my head.

i was thinking about lists. about how so many blogs are focused around them. how much people seem to enjoy putting things in lists. list your favorite albums. list your favorite movies. top ten internet faux pas. top 5 reasons why i never finished... whatever.

my new favorite blog did a "list your top ten favorite albums" which got lots and lots of responses. and i thought, i have nothing to add.
but today, a month later.. (i'm slow to think on things sometimes)...i realised that the idea that i have nothing to contribute to a discussion on music is silly. i listen to music. i love music.
i may not know and love every ani album ever. or every radiohead or u2 or any other appropriately cool band. but i love music. i tend to find something i like, and i devour it. i will listen to the same album daily for a week, a month, 6 months. even a year. ask my dad about the rent soundtrack.
so i looked at all these lists and i thought, how do i narrow it down to 10? and are there as many as 10? and it was too much pressure and i didn't do it.

me and lists. i have made lists of possible jobs/careers to pursue at least a dozen times in the last couple years. and i make to do lists. or made. not so much recently. not much to do recently.

but when it comes to ideas (not tasks), i find lists take away their strength. put it on a list and it's like it's already gone. oversimplifying and narrowing it down to a line on a page takes away its strength. like my resume. how do i squish all of the intangible and yet priceless lessons of failure into the space between two lines of text?