and yet, alone

I keep having these moments when i am struck by the fact that striking out on my own means i am alone. I begin a day at a freelancing job, and i am struck that i am in this alone. I go to see an apartment that i will share with 2 strangers, and i realize how much i will be living alone. These people will not be my friends. They will be strangers that i share space with. We may share a kitchen and a bathroom, but this is not an equation for friendship.
It's a little sad to me. I yearn for community. I know that i will have the community i am looking for in my job. I know that i will be supported in this, and i like the area. but i don't know. i came to like living with my parents. I had the space to myself that i needed and wanted, but when i wanted to be with family, they were there. and they need me too, it's nice to be needed.
i can't live in my parents house or woco all my life, but i wonder if it's what i'm going to always be looking for.

i'm moving into a new apartment tomorrow. And just like every step of this journey that i'm on, i should be excited, but instead i am nervous, worrying and planning and considering, but not excited. i hope that like my trip to europe and my return to the east coast last week, the excitement will come later, and that the good of this situation will outweigh the not-so-good.