writer creates an autobiographical story, it is a part of that journey
to becoming a writer.
What about the rest of us? I don't want to be a writer. I don't have
the talent or inclination. But still I turn to books for guidance.
Maybe I should turn to people istead. But I find seeking career advice
is never very helpful. Either someone says, "well, what is it you want
to do?" Or they can only tell me how they came to be where they are
today. Neither is helpful.
I heard on NPR that kids in america today have a much higher rate of
anxiety because of how many choices we have before us. To become
anything we want to be. And knowing the choices before me... Well, it
mostly just makes me feel guilty. What right do I have? With my
moderate intelligence and excellent education, shouldn't I be doing
something important with my life?
I think that question keepse frozen in place. Well, and this one: you
can be anything in the world that you want to be. What do you want?
I Don't KNOW.
A few times I have given myself the advice to just pick something and
run with it. Well, I am running, but I think I am just running in
place. I feel no more certain or calm or confident than I did 6 months
or two years ago.
When I see someone doing what they want to be doing, I ache with the
desire to be them. When I meet someone in a potentially romantic
encounter, I find confidence in career choice sexy. I find uncertainty
entirely unappealing. This is how I know that I am squarely in the
middle of a long single period of my life. I haven't any idea what I
want. How very unsexy.
1 comment:
From thirty years down the road. Trust your 'gut'. There are things that just feel right, and those that don't. Work with it. And contribute.
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