St. Louis. Home?

It’s been a long time since i lived in this house. I do still call it home, but in so many ways it really isn’t mine anymore. There’s a new dog. She barks at everything. I love my dog, i’m finding myself annoyed that Kayla is trying to take attention away from Molly. I suppose like a typical younger sibling.
After 5 weeks of vacation, here I am at the place that I have the most freedom to relax and do nothing of anywhere. There is always lots of food, good food that I enjoy and take comfort in. There’s a great internet connection, Lots of movies. we might have cable, i don’t really remember.

So here I am, at home. Driving through the midwestern flatness for Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois gave me the same sense of dread it always does when i drive home. It’s not until I see the St. Louis skyline that i start calming down and thinking maybe it isn’t a mistake coming home after all. I never really fit into the midwestern mentality, whatever that might be, but i’ve become very east coast, very new york. Someone talked to me at a rest stop where i was going to the bathroom, and i was like, what the hell is this lady doing, and why does she think it’s ok to talk to me? And my driving… yeah, i don’t drive in such a friendly way anymore. I’m going to try to reign it in while i’m here, don’t want to scare anyone.

Relaxing… you know, i’m sort of done with the whole relaxing thing. I know i definitely need to catch up on sleep while i’m here. some people might be surprised when i say i haven’t really been sleeping. This morning i woke up at 6:42. yesterday it was 4:44. the day before, i woke up about every hour from the time i went to bed at 2:30 until i finally gave up on sleeping about 8:30. and that’s just since getting back to the US! …so yeah, i should sleep. but beyond sleeping, i’m pretty over the whole vacation thing right now. I’m desperate to be active again. I hope that it won’t be too difficult to transition to americorps boot camp from this long period of inactivity.

I wish so much that Laura and/or Kristin were in town. I have tons of stuff to do to get ready to leave in 6 days, but it would be really good to see them…